My desire in life was to be a wife and a mom. I have loved babies for as long as I can remember. I loved to work in the nursery at church, and I would hold babies for anyone that ever asked. I literally chose babysitting over dates a couple of times.
I met and married the Big Man while I was pretty young, and we were married for a little while when I started to think about holding a baby of my own. After about 2 years of marriage and college behind us, we decided that it was time to "try." Then we tried for quite awhile and nothing happened. We finally went to the doctor and they did a few tests. Fortunately (?) we found out what was going on pretty quickly, and took steps to remedy it. I say that like it was no big deal, when in fact, the doctor told us that it would be nearly impossible for us to have children by natural means. (You've heard of T. Willy.) Meanwhile, both of our brothers called to tell us that their wives were pregnant. Woe is me...boo hoo...no, I didn't take it well, but things have a way of working out.
Labor Day weekend 1994. I was working in the office at a warehouse. It was the weekend of yearly inventory, so I worked really late Friday night, then Saturday and Monday which was Labor Day, of course. One thing we had going for us, fertility-wise, was that I was very regular...every 28 days by noon. In hindsight, that was a good thing...but at the time, it was always a reminder of, no, not this month...until that month...I was late. Literally, by Friday at noon, I was suspecting something. I had no other symptoms, no other reason to really suspect, but I did. I worked late that night and all day Saturday, keeping my suspicions to myself and running to the restroom every free moment that I had.
Then, Sunday morning...still nothing. The Big Man's birthday had been Friday, but with all the working, we had decided to celebrate it on Sunday. I told him that I was going out to get breakfast for him. While I was out, on a hunch, I stopped at Wal-mart (it's always Wal-mart,) and I bought a pregnancy test (this time a kit with 2 tests) and a birthday card for the Big Man. I hadn't said a word to him, because I didn't see a need to upset him if it was negative. I gave him his breakfast, then I went to the restroom...and took the test and waited. I didn't have to wait long. The line that needed to appear - appeared! There was no mistaking it. I quickly put the card in an envelope and walked into the living room. He was sitting with his back to me, so I threw the card at him and waited for him to read it. By this time, I was crying. He read the card which said something to the effect of, "Happy Birthday, Daddy!" I stood behind him and cried.
He looked at the card and said, "What does this mean?" I ran into the bathroom and got the pregnancy test and showed it to him. Again, he said, with a little more vigor, "What does this mean?"
"I think it means I'm pregnant."
But we really couldn't believe it. So, we decided that after church, I would go to a little clinic nearby and see if they could help me. We went to church, and at that time, the church had a "children's sermon" during which time the kids would gather at the front and hear a short lesson. We held hands and made googly eyes at each other during the whole thing...so not like us at all. We were clearly in shock.
After church, I stopped by the clinic and they said if the pregnancy test was positive, then indeed I could consider myself pregnant. I still didn't believe it, so I went home and took the second test. Positive again! I was starting to think it just might be true.
The next day I went to work and told my boss what was going on. All day it was all I could think about, but I had work to do, and the doctor's office wouldn't open until Tuesday, since it was Labor Day. Tuesday morning, I was the first one in the office. They gave me a test, and I waited some more.
Finally, the nurse came out to me and just enveloped me in a big bear hug. She told me that it was positive...I was really and truly pregnant!!!!! I recall that she was making an appointment for me, handing me prenatal vitamins and some other things. All I really remember, though, is crying. She walked me to another room and told me something. No idea what, because I was still crying. I wrote the check to pay for the visit and cried the whole time. As I did later, I went to see the Big Man at work. We didn't laugh like we did with T. Willy. We were just happy and eager to see what the next nine months held.
Now 14 years later, that time still seems so clear to me. I remember the longing and the joy. While I no longer have that longing, I have even greater joy. MK is a delight. She is funny and quirky and clever and wonderful. She is loving and empathetic. We love her and what she has brought to our lives. So, Happy birthday, MK! Thank you for the past 14 years!
The card and actual tests:
2 comments:
Wow - that was great! I remember finding out I was pregnant with Em over Memorial Day weekend, and I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to upset you. And then just a few months later - surprise! What a surprise and a blessing that news was! I also remember your baby shower, and how excited you were.
I think I was crying right along with you when I was reading this. MK is truly a miracle and a wonderful girl.
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